As performers we get critiqued as part of our job and I used to think this made me more resilient but I’m not sure if it has or if I have just got better at pretending it doesn’t affect me. I think I have rarely been in a place in my life where I have been secure enough in myself to healthily take critique.
One way of dealing with this is being your own biggest bully. ‘If I state all my flaws, I get in there before anyone else can and protect myself from the pain of someone else noticing my inadequacy’.
Though this protects us, to be constantly looking for our own flaws can be exhausting and let’s face it not great for the old esteem.
The voice that we hear the most is the one that’s in our head and for many of us our inner voice is crueller than one we would use on an enemy. We are our biggest critic. So sometimes the thought of self-love / compassion or even acceptance can feel ridiculously unachievable.
Like anything, the more we hear something, the more we begin to believe it. So, the more I tell myself that I am a failure the more I will look for things to confirm that that’s true. This can eat away at us. We are only human. Ofcourse we don’t want to feel unworthy so it’s not a long term solution.
What’s good about our internal voice is that we can change and control it. We can use it the other way around. By putting more emphasis on positive traits we are able to look out for qualities instead for flaws.
I know I am a very insecure person and I am not sure how relatable this is but I know from my research on aerialists we are great at performing offstage as well.
Would you let someone talk to your best friend the way you talk to and about yourself?