We all have internal stories and messages we tell ourselves which we have picked up over the years. They are not usually useful, but familiar, so we keep them around.
For me, like many of us, a big one is ‘I am not worthy/ good enough’ which gets activated a lot for me and brings up a lot of emotion.
In terms of aerial this can come up when I can’t achieve what I am trying to in the air, when someone stops coming to my classes, when I am quiet with work, ect. So I have to step in and tell myself that that’s a nice little story and it’s comfortable because it’s always there but it’s not actually helpful.
I could write a long list of things which would ‘back up’ this unworthy message. Experiences from childhood to last week. But thats what this story is fed by and we don’t want to make it any stronger.
These stories can mascarade as emotions in situations which are ‘supporting them’. For example if I can’t achieve a skill, I am not upset and angry about the skill itself, I am upset that I feel like my unworthiness is, once again, being ‘proved’.
I find it useful when I am confused about my reactions or emotional responses to things, to unpick what is actually underneath. A lot of the time it’s not about the thing infront of me, it’s what I think it represents.